Wow, this was intense! The word choice, particularly that line early on involving teeth and hard candy, was brutal! I had spotify open to switch tracks as I read, and it really added to the already excellent atmosphere!
This was gripping. Reminded me a lot of McCarthy but turned up a notch. Love how you capture that casual nature of crime that many of these kinds of people have.
I love how you set up the opening scene— nowhere did it indicate the chaos that was about to unfold for the reader. I found myself pausing multiple times, just taking in how vivid the scenes were—brilliant, by the way. It felt like stepping into a room just as a sudden shoot-out erupts. The way you timed the song references with each wave of chaos was masterful, and the sensory details made it all the more immersive.
I was already reeling from another intense read today, and you delivered the final punch with this one. The imagery is intense, almost cinematic, like something out of a neo-noir or a Tarantino film, but even more raw.
I really appreciate the kind words, and love the references you associate it with! Everything posted here is part of the same world. So eventually certain things will start to click. Fair to say it aint the last time you’ll read about The Woman.
Damn! Relentless! Love the addition of the soundtrack. As a former musician (well, still a musician, just not a performer) music means a lot to me, and I love adding soundtracks to my writing. Keep up the good work! 👊
Wow, this was intense! The word choice, particularly that line early on involving teeth and hard candy, was brutal! I had spotify open to switch tracks as I read, and it really added to the already excellent atmosphere!
This was gripping. Reminded me a lot of McCarthy but turned up a notch. Love how you capture that casual nature of crime that many of these kinds of people have.
I am speechless.
I love how you set up the opening scene— nowhere did it indicate the chaos that was about to unfold for the reader. I found myself pausing multiple times, just taking in how vivid the scenes were—brilliant, by the way. It felt like stepping into a room just as a sudden shoot-out erupts. The way you timed the song references with each wave of chaos was masterful, and the sensory details made it all the more immersive.
I was already reeling from another intense read today, and you delivered the final punch with this one. The imagery is intense, almost cinematic, like something out of a neo-noir or a Tarantino film, but even more raw.
I really appreciate the kind words, and love the references you associate it with! Everything posted here is part of the same world. So eventually certain things will start to click. Fair to say it aint the last time you’ll read about The Woman.
Good start, good movement, some confusion in sequence of action in places, some great moments.
Great piece, almost like a Joan Baez type
Damn! Relentless! Love the addition of the soundtrack. As a former musician (well, still a musician, just not a performer) music means a lot to me, and I love adding soundtracks to my writing. Keep up the good work! 👊