This was mesmerizing—like a myth unraveling in the language of dust and time. The imagery is relentless and gut-wrenching, making me feel every grain of sand, every moment of thirst and suffocation. The whale felt almost biblical in its offering of fate, and I’m still turning over the meaning of the two kingdoms—stone and cardboard, endurance and transformation. Was there ever truly a choice? Or was he always meant to be swallowed by the vastness? This piece lingers long after reading. Stunning work!
Your words are deeply appreciated. The idea of choice—whether real or illusory—is something yet to be determined; I’m not done with the story. I love that it resonated with you. There’s more to come.
I appreciate your words, man. I’m reading my physical copy of Before the Sky Falls, btw. You got something special there. I see the FF inspo but not enough for it to not be your own thing and that’s cool af.
The imagery of cardboard, fragile yet firm, versus the stone, solid yet desolate, feels like a reflection on what people choose to build their lives upon. Great work! Keep it on man!
Your descriptions are extremely vivid and beautiful; I like when it switches to more of a poetry form, after he’s been sucked in by the sand, it feels like he’s in an hourglass of sorts. It feels epic and mythic. I echo the sentiment that it 100% feels like Borges.
Any comparison to Borges will always be welcomed and appreciated.
I did go more for Huidobro's Altazor.
Absolutely love how you picked up on the hourglass, that was exactly the intent. I wanted to convey that feeling of descent from the upper chamber of the hourglass into the lower, mimicking the shift in reality/perspective. It is in that shift that it all comes together and the journey begins (story wise, not for the man).
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
This was mesmerizing—like a myth unraveling in the language of dust and time. The imagery is relentless and gut-wrenching, making me feel every grain of sand, every moment of thirst and suffocation. The whale felt almost biblical in its offering of fate, and I’m still turning over the meaning of the two kingdoms—stone and cardboard, endurance and transformation. Was there ever truly a choice? Or was he always meant to be swallowed by the vastness? This piece lingers long after reading. Stunning work!
Your words are deeply appreciated. The idea of choice—whether real or illusory—is something yet to be determined; I’m not done with the story. I love that it resonated with you. There’s more to come.
Ohhh, that’s something to look forward to! I’m keeping notes to see how my questions will be answered!!!
Just posted a continuation to this.
https://substack.com/@jpvbx/note/p-160016167?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=28q4if
This is absolutely fucking transcendent. When the whale came up from the sand I took in a sharp breath. Your words are wonderful and wanted.
I appreciate your words, man. I’m reading my physical copy of Before the Sky Falls, btw. You got something special there. I see the FF inspo but not enough for it to not be your own thing and that’s cool af.
Shit. Thank you. I’m usually distressed about just that so that’s quite a relief.
Excellent. Scent of Jorge Borges here and there.
Prose poetry thick with symbolism that could take weeks the unravel and understand. Well done.
Fucking outstanding work.
Thanks! Renigenesis is a continuation.
I need to sit down and translate/update what I have so I can then continue. I never finished it.
The imagery of cardboard, fragile yet firm, versus the stone, solid yet desolate, feels like a reflection on what people choose to build their lives upon. Great work! Keep it on man!
Yes! My dad used to tell me an analogy with those two. I tried panning that in a way that wouldn’t come off as preachy.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I appreciate you!
Your descriptions are extremely vivid and beautiful; I like when it switches to more of a poetry form, after he’s been sucked in by the sand, it feels like he’s in an hourglass of sorts. It feels epic and mythic. I echo the sentiment that it 100% feels like Borges.
Any comparison to Borges will always be welcomed and appreciated.
I did go more for Huidobro's Altazor.
Absolutely love how you picked up on the hourglass, that was exactly the intent. I wanted to convey that feeling of descent from the upper chamber of the hourglass into the lower, mimicking the shift in reality/perspective. It is in that shift that it all comes together and the journey begins (story wise, not for the man).
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
Love your takes
i’ve never read altazor. what is it about?
you conveyed that feeling perfectly!
It's basically you falling in a parachute through language, if that makes sense.
Vicente Huidobro led el Vanguardismo in Latinoamérica (he was from Chile). He led what he called "creacionismo."
Big influence for me in terms of how I look at language.
I think you would like his poems, they're unique.
I recommend you Temblor del Cielo and Altazor.