People are really hard on erotica with Substack if it doesn't hit a certain niche. I noticed. We have a fairly similar subscription base, I would say most of the crew will appreciate it and support it. I am always curious of others interpretations of erotica. It really helps with there's so much sensory details because you can imagine what's happening as it happens. I mean I love erotica trash too but this isn't that, it's poetic visual sensory. I hope it allows people to appreciate it more tbh from a different viewpoint.
I know why, and it’s good to get that feedback. It’s mainly the tv snippets, paired with the passes that lack conjunctions.
Eg: “White walls framed art with low ceilings under white lights closed space.”
“No walls, no frames sky canopy inverted above; rain glittered down linked open space. A zapping pulse.”
“On the television screen: thousands of petals on fly, flowers, fruits; naked woman cradling a dead baby walks into frame, she has no face. She stares at you.”
You threaded the needle here between sensuality and surreality. I think it's how you're able to convey both the spatial geometry as well as the way they move around that space that sits it nicely between something natural and something weird
Im not an expert on this genre by any means...this is like the first hardcore peice of erotica I have read, you tagged me in it so i feel like i should honor you and read your peice!!...
honestly im not sure how to process it all, I am by no means a sexual prude! We all have our kinky sides
However this story went to some uncomfortable places for my personal preferences...
From a writers perspective I am really impressed by lines you used like this:
"watermelon burst juicy. Pudendal mound sprouting with force its effluent spring forth"
I mean I have to give you credit your language skills are beyond impressive dude!! Seriously!! Well done!!
I’ve never read erotica before but this is definitely more than that. I really like the way Noga portrays it as eldritch. It bleeds some dread into you, with the remarks, the shifting perspectives, and the passes across the TV. Not only that but in my eyes, I see an ethereal vibe to it all that goes nicely with the grime that you write. I believe that’s why you can connect to your pieces but especially this one. You’ve created SEX here. You’ve written the act with all of its weird parts and kinky gifts. I want to reread again and really figure it out but this is my first impression.
Absolutely killer and inspirational lines all throughout. I had a “blast” reading this.
I'm in love with the eldritch comment, it's not something I thought would be noticeable enough to be mentioned, and I'm glad I was wrong. I think there's plenty to take from this, whether you want to focus on the 'interruptions' (thoughts, tv, external actions, etc) or the act itself. I've read erotica before, but nothing like this. It wasn't comfortable, not to write, but being in my head about how it would be received. Glad I didn’t tone it down. If anything, I would've liked finishing it (this was not the ending intended), and that would've mean escalating a bit further.
I had a feeling things would be escalated further, I felt that in the flow and I was surprised to find a quieter climax. But I think it does add to the overall feel of the piece too!
Gotta admit, this is the first time I've read erotica, but this felt like a hallucination. Bodies blending together like the TV constantly changing in the background. 75% sex and 25% dream, and it's the balance between the two of these that really sticks with me!
Surreal, real, reminiscent, effervescent, all at once, disassociative, intimate. It felt like several movies spliced together, running at different speeds.
Which means it was, in my opinion, an utterly enjoyable and immersive experience.
I love that one of the music choices was Portishead. I could instantly hear the lyrics and melody in my head and when I’m in a strange mood, that album Dummy lifts me out of it very quickly.
This is poetically gritty and experiential. I did have a hard time where my mind tried to click the POV swaps into spacial understanding. You name a character and then switch to first person then another name then… I get tripped by those. Trying to figure out whose head I’m in. Am I the thighs or the dick. Am I watching.
This piece was a trip. The visceral feelings. The fractured gasps.
This is gorgeous, and terrifying yet stunning writing.
The opening is SO STRONG, but effective. I think it takes a immense skill to have a story from start to finish be the act of sex and have it not be the central theme or even main takeaway from it after reading.
I will give this many more reads, but right now those thoughts cutting in and through are really sticking with me. The “ass not fat enough”, “hands didn’t feel like so and so”, idk, it just feels so real.
Beautifully written. I was able to visualize with the senses at the top notch. When done right, erotica can be poetic.
I would’ve liked to continue it, but I have no mind for that rn, this has been sitting in drafts for weeks, had to let it go.
Thanks for reading and commenting, it means a lot. I was a bit doubtful of how it would land.
People are really hard on erotica with Substack if it doesn't hit a certain niche. I noticed. We have a fairly similar subscription base, I would say most of the crew will appreciate it and support it. I am always curious of others interpretations of erotica. It really helps with there's so much sensory details because you can imagine what's happening as it happens. I mean I love erotica trash too but this isn't that, it's poetic visual sensory. I hope it allows people to appreciate it more tbh from a different viewpoint.
It works
i love the way you use rhythm in ur pieces. so good pablo!
Dude that’s the right ending
Something deeply eldritch about this. Neon and lovecraftian at the same time. In every possible meaning of the word, this fucks
I know why, and it’s good to get that feedback. It’s mainly the tv snippets, paired with the passes that lack conjunctions.
Eg: “White walls framed art with low ceilings under white lights closed space.”
“No walls, no frames sky canopy inverted above; rain glittered down linked open space. A zapping pulse.”
“On the television screen: thousands of petals on fly, flowers, fruits; naked woman cradling a dead baby walks into frame, she has no face. She stares at you.”
Thanks for looking out, bro 👊🏽
You threaded the needle here between sensuality and surreality. I think it's how you're able to convey both the spatial geometry as well as the way they move around that space that sits it nicely between something natural and something weird
🧱
Bro. This is a trip into a universe.
Shit, I didn't get a notification for this.
It's always a trip into another universe in a sense.
Thanks for reading!
glad that was the anti-erotica version :)
Im not an expert on this genre by any means...this is like the first hardcore peice of erotica I have read, you tagged me in it so i feel like i should honor you and read your peice!!...
honestly im not sure how to process it all, I am by no means a sexual prude! We all have our kinky sides
However this story went to some uncomfortable places for my personal preferences...
From a writers perspective I am really impressed by lines you used like this:
"watermelon burst juicy. Pudendal mound sprouting with force its effluent spring forth"
I mean I have to give you credit your language skills are beyond impressive dude!! Seriously!! Well done!!
Thanks for reading, I appreciate you!
Your welcome!!
“Everything reminds me of her”
I’ve never read erotica before but this is definitely more than that. I really like the way Noga portrays it as eldritch. It bleeds some dread into you, with the remarks, the shifting perspectives, and the passes across the TV. Not only that but in my eyes, I see an ethereal vibe to it all that goes nicely with the grime that you write. I believe that’s why you can connect to your pieces but especially this one. You’ve created SEX here. You’ve written the act with all of its weird parts and kinky gifts. I want to reread again and really figure it out but this is my first impression.
Absolutely killer and inspirational lines all throughout. I had a “blast” reading this.
ACH ACH ACH ACH ACH
Always here for your takes.
I'm in love with the eldritch comment, it's not something I thought would be noticeable enough to be mentioned, and I'm glad I was wrong. I think there's plenty to take from this, whether you want to focus on the 'interruptions' (thoughts, tv, external actions, etc) or the act itself. I've read erotica before, but nothing like this. It wasn't comfortable, not to write, but being in my head about how it would be received. Glad I didn’t tone it down. If anything, I would've liked finishing it (this was not the ending intended), and that would've mean escalating a bit further.
Thanks for reading, brother.
I had a feeling things would be escalated further, I felt that in the flow and I was surprised to find a quieter climax. But I think it does add to the overall feel of the piece too!
Gotta admit, this is the first time I've read erotica, but this felt like a hallucination. Bodies blending together like the TV constantly changing in the background. 75% sex and 25% dream, and it's the balance between the two of these that really sticks with me!
Thanks for giving it a shot.
The blending of bodies, memories, etc, that's what I was going for.
Surreal, real, reminiscent, effervescent, all at once, disassociative, intimate. It felt like several movies spliced together, running at different speeds.
Which means it was, in my opinion, an utterly enjoyable and immersive experience.
Love that.
I feel like I approach writing almost as if it were editing film, so that's a huge compliment.
The music helps (imo) with that sensory overload, helping with that sense if immersion.
Thanks for reading!
I love that one of the music choices was Portishead. I could instantly hear the lyrics and melody in my head and when I’m in a strange mood, that album Dummy lifts me out of it very quickly.
This is poetically gritty and experiential. I did have a hard time where my mind tried to click the POV swaps into spacial understanding. You name a character and then switch to first person then another name then… I get tripped by those. Trying to figure out whose head I’m in. Am I the thighs or the dick. Am I watching.
This piece was a trip. The visceral feelings. The fractured gasps.
Following the POV's the fastest way to get lost in it (that's good)
Thank you for reading!
This is gorgeous, and terrifying yet stunning writing.
The opening is SO STRONG, but effective. I think it takes a immense skill to have a story from start to finish be the act of sex and have it not be the central theme or even main takeaway from it after reading.
I will give this many more reads, but right now those thoughts cutting in and through are really sticking with me. The “ass not fat enough”, “hands didn’t feel like so and so”, idk, it just feels so real.
Don’t stop writing, please.
Yes, the opening lol
Those two sentences set a tone where there’s no room for surprises while leaving space for them, if that makes sense. Thanks for reading!
Did you invent the term anti-erotica? The describes aspects of my horror novel I've yet to really share better than anything.
I thought I needed to tame it down, but now I'm thinking it needs to go harder.
It’s-a me!
https://open.substack.com/pub/simpulacra/p/write-porn-for-the-plot-what-is-anti?r=2rr57&utm_medium=ios
I say harder, daddy (Respectfully)
I believe the one that coined it was Simpulacra (Slater). I believe he wrote an essay on the subject.
And if those are your thoughts I’m extremely interested in that project…
Broooooooooooo
It had to happen lol
You went fuckin crazy on this one g. Awesome.