Wrote this last night, didn’t go to sleep until I finished, I hope it’s a good addition/companion to the other piece linked in the story (The Casting).
soundtrack of Maruja against the silence of the wrongness on the road creates such a heavy atmosphere. you’ve made a motel room shootout feel like a cosmic joke. and that ending…refusing to die just to stay in her orbit…is haunting.
I think it’s devastating he cant recognize love for what it is. He’s in a sad position with little to no control over the situation which is a funny juxtaposition considering he begins the story with a literal remote controller in his hand. This crack in his armor did more than have him lose sight of his job, it gave him way for a transformation to take place.
I'm in the movie. you have some unique brain to pen synapses going on my friend. The passage with all the glasses... rules say that shouldn't work but i kept reading it again and again.
Bursts of verse like cherry toms popping.
thankful for no P.R. street slang to confuse my gringo assitude in this one.
love all the flavours. obviously want the whole novel right now. chop chop. ❤️🔥
"Loud arguing and I thought they were Albanian." Did you recommend this story to me cuz I'm Albanian haha. But on a serious note, I think Alejandra made up her mind to leave him at this passage: "You dont have to get everything. How does it make you feel? Uncomfortable, I said. Right, and why is that? You dont have to tell me." That's exactly the sort of behavior she was running away from.
Thanks a lot man! I love this stuff. I actually just posted a transgressive short story (My Late Friend) on my profile. It has more of a Balkan/Albanian flair. Since you're clearly an experienced writer I would love to hear your thoughts on it.
Writing like water spilling into my ears. Sounds everywhere and the action is just so ripe. I also noticed the repetition of orange, godfather? violence? suspended feeling of life slipping from his hands. why you gotta stunt like this???
Glad you enjoyed it, but tbh I just used techniques Ive used in other pieces, I tend to always do something new. This time I didn’t, so I appreciate your feedback. Im settling in and can work with you again, I apologize for having gone awol
I do think I’ll pick this one up and give it the serial treatment. Ive been kind of against the idea cos I feel it wont get the love it would get if I were to release it in one go… but I also feel like I have to start playing ball cos my ‘tactics’ aint working
The Casting (story) is part of this. It’s following the link attached to Ginsberg, IL, on this one. If you enjoyed the film in the footnote and the overall ‘vibe’ I think you’d also enjoy The Windchime on the Lintel
Shit 😱
What you think? 🤔
My brain short circuited hahaha this was so romantic but also sad but also beautiful
Pablo!
What do you think?
😬
Wrote this last night, didn’t go to sleep until I finished, I hope it’s a good addition/companion to the other piece linked in the story (The Casting).
I think it's fabulous. Compelling. Drew me right in
soundtrack of Maruja against the silence of the wrongness on the road creates such a heavy atmosphere. you’ve made a motel room shootout feel like a cosmic joke. and that ending…refusing to die just to stay in her orbit…is haunting.
I think it’s devastating he cant recognize love for what it is. He’s in a sad position with little to no control over the situation which is a funny juxtaposition considering he begins the story with a literal remote controller in his hand. This crack in his armor did more than have him lose sight of his job, it gave him way for a transformation to take place.
Thank you for giving it a read.
Oh wow I missed the remote👀
Glad you’re posting again!
Excellent. My brain always expands post-Pablo
Fuckin' 'ell mate.
I'm in the movie. you have some unique brain to pen synapses going on my friend. The passage with all the glasses... rules say that shouldn't work but i kept reading it again and again.
Bursts of verse like cherry toms popping.
thankful for no P.R. street slang to confuse my gringo assitude in this one.
love all the flavours. obviously want the whole novel right now. chop chop. ❤️🔥
Hahaha youre funny for mentioning that cos I did think about injecting some Spanish… but I refrained
Thanks for looking out, Nick
"Loud arguing and I thought they were Albanian." Did you recommend this story to me cuz I'm Albanian haha. But on a serious note, I think Alejandra made up her mind to leave him at this passage: "You dont have to get everything. How does it make you feel? Uncomfortable, I said. Right, and why is that? You dont have to tell me." That's exactly the sort of behavior she was running away from.
Coincidental, perhaps haha
Alejandra was in more control than what it seemed
I also loved how the color orange subtly symbolizes death, such as at the tag of the white van
Loving you hard rn Papinova. You dont miss a beat, huh? Thank you for your close reading
Thanks a lot man! I love this stuff. I actually just posted a transgressive short story (My Late Friend) on my profile. It has more of a Balkan/Albanian flair. Since you're clearly an experienced writer I would love to hear your thoughts on it.
Im getting ready for work but I saved it and will look at it tonight. Im sure I’ll enjoy it
Thanks again!
Writing like water spilling into my ears. Sounds everywhere and the action is just so ripe. I also noticed the repetition of orange, godfather? violence? suspended feeling of life slipping from his hands. why you gotta stunt like this???
Thanks for looking out, bro.
Glad you enjoyed it, but tbh I just used techniques Ive used in other pieces, I tend to always do something new. This time I didn’t, so I appreciate your feedback. Im settling in and can work with you again, I apologize for having gone awol
Never gotta apologize bro! Always down to hone the words, I hope you’re doing good. Been busy anyways 🥸🕳️
Five senses in action, and the sixth one waiting for that ending, chef's kiss.
Thank you!!
I do think I’ll pick this one up and give it the serial treatment. Ive been kind of against the idea cos I feel it wont get the love it would get if I were to release it in one go… but I also feel like I have to start playing ball cos my ‘tactics’ aint working
This was really, really good. I want to know more. Really compelling!!!
Thanks for looking out!
The Casting (story) is part of this. It’s following the link attached to Ginsberg, IL, on this one. If you enjoyed the film in the footnote and the overall ‘vibe’ I think you’d also enjoy The Windchime on the Lintel
I’ll definitely check it out! Thanks for the heads up!